I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize