I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
