What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You've changed since you got that strap on
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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