I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
