dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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