You just made me feel so damn special
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
