come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize