So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
