Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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