just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
