just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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