I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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