WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
