I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
