I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
