at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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