And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
