i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize