I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize