youre lurking in front of me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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