I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I have demons in me.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
