My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
