babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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