Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
