the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
we're so committed to being not committed
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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