You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize