Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
