it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
