So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm too high and old for this...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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