the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
