I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
