i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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