your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
