All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
