final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i came on her dog
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
