He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
