No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
