what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
