maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize