How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
