Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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