God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
