also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
