Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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