Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
