hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
