my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
