like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
