Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
