we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
