she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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