About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
