I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
