Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
