Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I need water and some morals
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize