your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
