i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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