Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
