She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
