All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
