Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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